Walk to class/In front of ya/Spill kefir/On your keffiyeh… “Campus” –Vampire Weekend
Since I’m cool, I have the new and highly anticipated album from Vampire Weekend. This band is so cool, you’re probably cooler if you’re already “over it.” Anyway, the above lyric got me thinking about sour-tasting foods.
Kefir is fermented milk. To prepare, you basically add kefir grains to cow, sheep, or goat milk (hell, you could probably do soy milk if so inclined). The grains are made up of yeast and bacteria that grows in a mixture of fat, sugar, and protein. Sounds disgusting. But it’s apparently quite nutritious and is highly praised for lowering blood pressure and cholesterol levels and for making milk more digestible for the lactose intolerant.
In the old days, kefir was prepared by combing the chosen milk with the kefir grains in an animal skin bag that was then hung in a much-frequented doorway. Everyone coming and going was encouraged to give the bag a whap as they passed by (kinda like you did to the tops of doorframes when you were a kid just to prove you were finally getting tall). Smacking the bag helped with the mixing process and probably made men claim things like, “I helped with the cooking.”
The world wide web reports that kefir is pretty tart but can be prepared in a variety of ways to make it edible. Pour it over granola; make a banana kefir smoothie; sweeten with agave; or add it to your borscht. But no matter how it’s prepared, I’m pretty sure I’ll never be able to eat it.
It’s embarrassing to admit as a foodie, but I have never been able to tolerate soured food. A list of things I don’t eat (unless they’re hidden in something else): yogurt, sour cream, cream cheese, and cottage cheese. I cannot remember a time in my life when I found any of these things bearable. Once, I fooled myself into thinking I liked yogurt. I forced myself to eat it, adding granola by the handful and swallowing quickly so the sour didn’t linger on my tongue too long. I’ve talked to others about this impairment of the taste buds, and I’m not the only one who disdains this exact grouping of foods. I figure that a scientist could give me a biological reason for this; anyone who knows an evolutionary explanation is welcome to give it here.
Also, a keffiyeh is that thing that Yasser Arafat always wore.
